Wednesday, May 2, 2007


The day started with another early rising. Coffee, the sun, and words on a page greeted me before the stress of the day could consume me. This really set the mood for the rest of the morning. No rush, no stress, just beauty. This morning was different than others though because I would soon be driving to work with my fiance'. Her car has been breaking down continually and was in the shop again, so as soon as I was ready for work I headed off to pick her up. It was nice to start the day in conversation with a person who was actually interested in what I had to say and didn't just need something from me.

Soon I was at work and back to the daily grind, but the day was a bit brighter because it had started off so well. Before I knew it, 10 hours had passed and she was there to pick me up.

We went directly to the grocery store to pick up groceries for the week and while we were there decided to pick up ingredients for a nice dinner for the evening. On the way home we picked up a movie for after dinner. When we got home I commenced chopping the tomatos for brucietta and she started the pasta. We opened a bottle of Shiraz and enjoyed each other's company as we sipped and snacked. When the pasta was done we sat and ate and enjoyed each other's company and conversation.

By the time we had finished it was 9:30 and too late to start a movie. We ended the night dozing on the couch.

I can't believe how much I've missed this. I've ruined plenty of nights that could have been just like these with the way I acted. I would be grouchy after work, impatient at the grocery store, non-conversational and cold on the drive home, and un-helpful with dinner. I don't know why I feel the need to act this way.

I understand that there will be times in the future when I will once again be a jerk. I wish this wasn't the case, but I know myself. I'll act like a fool and forget about everything I wrote today. There will be arguments and hurtful things said. This is unavoidable. This is relationship.

But today I can revel in the wonder of last night. A night that enveloped nearly everything I have looked forward to in a relationship. I look forward to many more nights just like this.

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