Thursday, March 13, 2008

Part 1 of 5

Today I’m going to start a five-part series on one of my favorite topics; my pet peeves. If you know me at all you’ll realize I’m OCD in some areas and therefore have a lot of pet peeves. The five that I’m going to touch on in this series though aren’t just little annoyances; these are five of things that annoy me the most.

This will be a completely selfish series of rants, void of any compositional value, but my hope is that getting the thoughts down on paper will at least help me not hate these things so much.

I also hope you’ll be able to find some sort of humor in my insanity.

Pet Peeve #1 (Ladies, this is one you probably won’t have to deal with so be thankful.)

I HATE it when men feel that they must spit while urinating.

Guys always seem to end up side by side in the restrooms and it’s inevitable that at least 2 or 3 of them will be spitters.

What’s the point? What do you accomplish? Does it make you feel manly?

I was next to a guy the other day that spit 4 times in one standing. 4 times!!! Why on earth would a person need to spit 4 times in 60 seconds? Is there some sort of spit quota that needs to be met everyday and the bathroom is the only place it can be done? Is there some sort of salivary disease that 60% of men have contracted but to which I am somehow immune?

Maybe I just don’t understand. Honestly I don’t want to. All I know is that I’m not a violent person, but today someone came in and spit immediately and it took all my strength not to punch them in the side of the head.

In the future, if you happen to read on that some poor schmuck in Omaha, was viciously attacked in the bathroom, you’ll know who the prime suspect is.

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